FOX – Michael Slezak Talk about putting the craziest possible spin on Empire‘s weeks-long promo promise that “a Lyon will fall!”
Wednesday’s Season 2 finale ended with Rhonda channeling her inner Cookie and going into full street-brawl mode vs “Pearl-Clutching Debutante” (aka Boo Boo Kitty) (aka Fake-Ass Lena Horne) (aka Becky With the Blonde Wig) (aka Anika Calhoun) — and one or both (but probably not neither) tumbling off a 30-story balcony.
Oh yes, it turns out if this were a game of Clue, the final answer would’ve been “Anika on the Staircase With Her Louboutins!” The woman carrying Hakeem’s baby admitted mid-scuffle that Rhonda was correct in believing she’d assaulted her during December’s winter finale and caused her to lose her baby with Hakeem’s brother Andre. And she didn’t seem the least bit sheepish about it, either!
The eruption of violence between the women was a fitting end to the most horrific nuptials since Game of Thrones‘ Red Wedding.
Oh, c’mon, you didn’t think Hakeem would actually wind up putting a ring on it with Laura, did you? (Not that he didn’t try!)
Just as Laura came down the aisle — here’s hoping she had a bottomless mimosa beforehand! — Anika got served with a subpoena to testify against Lucious by a woman disguised as a cater waiter. Cookie and Anika’s old cohort Shyne Johnson (who scored an invite as the Lyons attempted to buy his silence about Lucious’ murder of three rival dealers plus a fourth contract killing back in the day) popped someone in the face. And Laura and her family fled the scene — most likely forever.
As the family tried to figure out a plan to save Lucious from the Feds (led by Tariq the Freak), there seemed to be only one solid solution: So Lucious and Anika got married (by Andre) — as Cookie (who’d considered giving it another try with her ex) made her tearful exit. “I did not save this bitch’s life so she could ruin mine!” Cookie screamed, referencing the fact that she’d talked Anika off a suicidal ledge earlier in the hour. And you know our heroine was devastated, seeing that she didn’t even twerk or slap her own booty on her way out the door.
As the newlyweds headed back down the aisle, Lucious told Anika he knew she’d pushed his daughter-in-law — prompting her balcony reverie that led to the fateful fight. Meanwhile, Tariq showed up and got in Lucious’ face, prompting his mother Leah to ask, “Dwight, what’s your half-brother doing here?” What in the actual what? Yep, it turns out not only did a young Lucious witness his father’s murder at the hand of the man who raised Tariq, but he also heard the guy’s revelation that Lucious’ father was Tariq’s biological daddy, too!
Left at the altar, unable to get out a single note, was Jamal, who’d come home from the hospital promising to put his career on hold ’til his family ended their violent, crazy ways. Lucious managed to get him back into music-making mode with D-Major (not an entendre, necessarily) by visiting Freda in jail, truthfully noting “I never laid a finger on your daddy” (that was just his thugs), promising to pay for her legal defense and getting her to spit a sick rap on his cellular device. But methinks the balcony antics, subpoena serving and Tariq revelations might send Jamal back to his vow of (musical) silence.
Below, showrunner Ilene Chaiken breaks down the major moments of Season 2, Episode 18 — weighing in on Anika and Rhonda’s fate, Lucious and Cookie’s rift and Jamal and Hakeem’s futures following their family’s worst night ever.
Click here to see the breakdown: EMPIRE Season 2 Breakdown